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What Defines You?

"You are often defined by a few moments of your life, but that's not who you are in your life."

That statement is so true you make choices rather bad or good, you are given cards, and you deal with them as you may. We have to realize this is a judgmental world we live in, and although you grow up and you change, people may not always see that growth. You may still be held to the things you have done or did not do.

This past week my cousin, one of the very few people I trust wholeheartedly, sent me a text to let me know that he does appreciate the things I do for him and others and that he looks up to me. This text, although so little, was one of the best gifts he could have given me. I always try to be there for the people I care about. I want them to never want for anything as long as I am around. I am the type of person that If I think they would like it or need it, I get it for them, even if it may hurt my pockets. This is my way of letting them know they are loved and that I have their backs 100% of the time.

This act may leave me feeling sometimes drained when they may not fully understand why I do all I do. I am a very selfless person and with that comes me being very forgiving as well. Even when I did nothing wrong, I am the first to squash the situation and apologize for whatever the issue is, even if I am not at fault. That is just who I am. So for someone so close to me to realize that, it meant a great deal to me.

"They," they say that people do not want you to win. I try never to listen to "They," but this saying tends to be true. When you feel at your happiest, something negative always seems to follow. I had my father that has never really been in my life, comment under the picture and go kind of off-topic with some stuff I felt was so left field and uncalled for. He brought up Facetiming my half-brother that I have never met, said he asked years ago, and it never happened. I had no problem doing so, but he justified him not being in my life due to the post. I'm 29 years of age. I reconnected with my father when I turned 21 only because his girlfriend at the time reached out to me. My issue with the post he made; was that he posted something for the world to see to make me look bad. He wants me to get to know my brother but still never really tried to get to know me, and asking 1 time years ago doesn't show me you are trying to fix your wrongs. I choose to keep toxic people out of my life or at least at an arms distance. I can no longer let bad energy into my life. This episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is dear to my heart because I felt and what I basically went through with my father. I am so very grateful for my very own Uncle Phil in my Uncle Dave. Watch the Clip Below.

I haven't had it easy, but I do not feel I have had it that hard; it was just the way my life was growing up. That scene makes me emotional every time because I can say the very same thing "how come he doesn't want me, man?" I won't let me not having a father define who I am as a person. It may be one defining moment, but it does not define who I am.

I am blessed beyond measure. When it comes down to it, I have friends who have my back. My close friends look up to me and say that they decided to do things differently because of how I've handled things. All I can ever ask for is to help my friends and be an example for those I love and those I do not know.

*This Blog was written 4 years ago"

I have embarked on this journey of true freedom by being a Life Coach and hosting my own Podcast, "Create Your Own Story," and although it will be a long one, I am so pleased about it.

Please subscribe to my blog post. Also, if you require a life coach, please contact me at We can set something up that can really better your life.

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